Dwelling on what we don’t have

We often go through life thinking about all the things we don’t have, dwelling on what could have been, or craving things we can’t have. It’s such a waste of time and energy, and we should really all be focused on what we have and be grateful for the good things and people in our lives.

dwellingIn the last couple of weeks I have found myself being envious of others’ lives and the things they are doing, the choices they are making and the outcomes these have resulted in. Not once did I sit and think that they may also be having the same thoughts about my life, because I do have a pretty good life. My wake-up call came last week when I caught up with an old friend. We had a good old-fashioned catch up on the phone for an hour or so (when was the last time you did that and didn’t have a long conversation over text?!), and shared our recent news. She recently received some great health news after a particularly tough time, and was making positive plans for her immediate future, and I am so proud of her, and extremely happy for her.

I talked about my big life changes that had happened over the last year and she was very happy for me, and talked about how amazing it all sounded. We talked about how we had let work get in the way of life in the past (we had worked closely together for a long time), and that once you had a chance to take a step back and look at things differently, it totally changes your perspective.

Focus-1It did get me thinking about how I naturally dwell on what I don’t have, can’t have, or have lost. And it made me realise I should focus on what I do have now, the opportunities I have available, and how I can realise those dreams. Quite often the things I don’t have but want have come from a lack of confidence in myself to just ‘do it’, and I need to ask myself whether I really want it – surely if I wanted it that badly, I would pluck up the courage and go for it?!! Dwelling just creates negative energy and drains the body. It will drag you down and avert your focus from the positive things in your life. It makes you miss out on what could be a happy moment!

So I’m getting in the zone – focusing on the good, forgetting what I can’t have (it’s not meant to be), grabbing some self confidence, talking about those dreams to others, and planning for the future.

Watch this space……

 

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